1. Make Plans on Paper for The Future, Any Future. Writing it down helps pull you out of the muck you are now kneedeep in.
2. Write to your elected representatives and complain--loudly--they are currently deaf to the needs and concerns of the people.
3. Take whatever gold you may possibly have acquired and bury it--you may need it to buy a loaf of bread after the Federal Reserve puts inflation in full drive.
4. Plant tomatoes--preferably nice big juicy varieties--softball size--so that come September when the candidates come back to town trolling for votes you have a cache ready to aim and fire.
5. Practice your aim daily, substituting future presidential candidates with a good color blow-up of Bush and Cheney. Refine your anger. Practice makes perfect.
6. Buy maps of border states--of Canada. They're watching the Mexican border so there has to be at least a few places between Vermont and Washington State where no one will notice.
7. Call your Congressperson's office (local, it's cheaper) and insist that they hold a town hall meeting--soon.
8. Take a look at the Congressional payroll and note that although it took 10 years to raise the minimum wage, no member of Congress missed a pay increase in those said 10 years.
9. Go for a walk in the park--preferably not on a snowy day in April--which tends to lead to brooding thoughts.
10. If it is still snowing out there (this is from Ohio) hug your cat or play tug of war with your dog. Watching the hamster spin his wheel doesn't count. You need to connect with something warm and furry to regain any semblance of sanity.
11. Make plans for your big bonus $600 check from IRS. Whoops--no make that UP TO $600. May not be enough for a tank of gas, but a couple of items from the $1 menu at McDonald's will keep you from swooning from hunger.
12. Sign any and all petitions to impeach. Will do absolutely no good but will make you feel better-for about a minute.
13. Find a peace rally and attend it--even if there are only 5 people there. Somebody has to stop this abomination and it doesn't look like the Democrats are interested either.
14. Watch the network news and notice how little is actually being reported (aside from entertainment news).
15. Turn off the television and open the window. Listen to the birds. Listen to life.
16. Learn how to plant a garden, survive without a computer, bake your own bread, tap maple trees and find edible greens in your lawn.
17. Start collecting firewood. Winter isn't that far away.
18. Trade that copy of "The Long Emergency" (too depressing) for a copy of Euell Gibbons "Stalking the Wild." Much more practical. Better pictures.
19. Go to YouTube. Look up silly cat pictures.
20. Take up Taoism.
21. Start walking. By the time gas hits $5 you will be fit enough to walk to work--provided it isn't a 50 mile commute. In which case you'll have to walk faster.
22. Write your Congressperson again--especially if you haven't received a response to the last letter/email. It's just possible they have forgotten you (and a few thousand others). Do not put cash in the envelope--it is doubtful it will be enough to matter anyway.
23. Make the rounds of local dumpsters. People are still carelessly tossing out valuable things--like pizza. And overripe bananas.
24. Make friends with the local gendarmes. And find out when they check out the local dumpsters.
25. Go to your local parks. Start looking for a place to hide or reside. In case "The Long Emergency" really does start happening.
26. Go to JoeBageant.com and read his blogs. It will give you comfort and make you not feel like you are going crazy. It will not change things. It will just make you feel like a part of something.
27. Take a walk down the road. Carry a bag. Collect all the aluminum cans you encounter. Note how many fewer there are than there were a year ago. Avoid eye contact with other persons carrying bags.
28. Memorize Mein Kampf. Notice similarities to Homeland Security.
29. Go to the park. Start observing how the deer survive.
30. Write to the White House. Ask them if the Executive Order Blocking Property of Certain Persons Who Threaten Stabilization Efforts in Iraq is still in effect. Ask them to translate it to the King's English.
31. It's dark. It's late. It's raining. Bake chocolate chip cookies from scratch and eat them straight from the oven. Invite a friend. Ask them to bring milk.
32. Finally start reading Will and Ariel Durant's "History of Civilization" that has been anchoring your bookshelves for the last 30 years. History can be comforting. It has all happened before. The costumes are different.
33. Attend a political rally. Make sure you get a receipt from security for the nail clippers you forgot were on your keychain.
34. Superimpose a photo of Goebbels on a picture of Dick Cheney. Note similarities.
35. Ask Mr. Cheney if you can go fishing with him next time on the Sultan of Oman's royal yacht.
36. Start a garden. Know your tools. Familiarize yourself with mulching techniques. Note just how pitifully little you can grow yourself.
37. Ask Mr. Cheney if he would mind sharing some of his catch. So you can fertilize your corn crop. Like the Pilgrims.
38. Write/email your Congressperson. Ask them if they are enjoying their vacation.
39. Buy a lotto ticket. Ask for a raise. See which one works.
40. Post your resume at Homeland Security. They're looking for a few good people. Hope they don't call your references.
41. Really look at the pictures of the soldiers who have died in Bush's War this week. See them as people, not fighting machines. See their families.
42. Plant tomatoes. Plant peppers. Survey your acreage.
43. Attend the local Memorial Day Parade. Research the meaning of Memorial Day. Wonder if a volunteer army means that the rest of us get off scot free. Ask that a draft be reinstituted--for politicians. With them on the front line, we can't lose, either way.
44. Go back to work. Ask your Congressperson if they are going back to work today. Time is wasting.
45. Sign another impeachment petition. Never give up. He may slip up and have an affair instead of a war.
46. Pay no attention to "debates" unless they really discuss issues.
47. Turn off the tv and watch the sunset instead. Better for your blood pressure and more true to life.
48. Look for trilliums in the woods. A patch of ethereal beauty sustains the soul.
49. Thank God for the rain. At least you don't have to shovel it.
50. Call your Congressperson. Ask them to define democracy. Make sure you are registered to vote in the fall.
51. Keep reading as much history as you can--from all perspectives. There has to be an answer somewhere in there.
TO BE CONTINUED
